I lost everything, but gained so much

Pokémon is a franchise made for children. That shouldn’t be a controversial thing to say. As such, it’s not a particularly difficult series. You’re not looking at a game where you really need to think about what you’re doing at any given time; you’re looking at a game where you can just get lucky. Difficulty is something that the ROM hacking scene has taken up as their own – Pokémon Radical Red, Pokémon Emerald Kaizo, and Pokémon Renegade Platinum. These are all hacks designed for adults to test your knowledge of Pokémon mechanics. And I’ve played several of these; they’re a good time. But Pokémon Run and Bun? Pokémon Run and Bun is different.

Pokémon Run and Bun is a difficulty hack for Pokémon Emerald created by a competitive player. It has mechanics and Pokémon up to generation eight, changes the way the map works, adds Mega Evolution, and offers several quality-of-life features like infinite Rare Candy and Infinite Repels to avoid encounters. Each battle has been modified so that it has a team which can face up to you and cause problems – they’re using held items, and they have abilities that complement their moves. Each gym leader has a legendary Pokémon that will make it so that you have to think on the fly. The hack asks a question – are you versatile enough for this? It’s time for me to find out. 

First off, the basic rules I’m running with. Pokémon Run and Bun has an in-built level cap, so we’re sticking with that. It also restricts items in battle to only held items, so no potions. I’m nicknaming all Pokémon, never using the same name twice, and if a Pokémon dies, it is dead, akin to traditional Nuzlocke rules. I can catch as many Pokémon in any one route as I want, but it can never be more than one of any particular evolution line. If I white out, I reload a save from earlier, box all my Pokémon, and try again, assuming I have Pokémon to spare. I’m in Set mode, so I don’t get to change my Pokémon after an opponent’s Pokémon faints (I can still change them during a battle, I just don’t get that free Switch after KOing an opponent). My goal here is simple – can I beat the first gym leader in the game without cracking under the pressure? Can I, as somebody who doesn’t play Pokémon competitively, manage to beat my own preconceived notions of what to do in a battle?

So, the first thing I do is pick my starter. The options here are specifically the Generation 4 starters, so I go with Turtwig (I name him Brian, after Brian Barnett), for a couple of reasons – he’s incredible in the early game, and his defence is fairly good. I then do the standard Emerald early game, catching a few Pokémon along the way – a Littleo that I evolve into a Pyroar named Liam, a Fletchling named Fred, a Pidgey named Phil and a Chinchou named Jon. I talk to my dad, I meet Wallace, and it’s all smooth sailing. The battles are tough, but they’re not impossible – it’s all about learning. 

Then I learnt my first hard lesson. Triathlete Mikey on Route 104 led with a Krabby and a Clobbopus. My Turtwig took both of them out fairly easily. His final Pokémon was a Yanma that was holding an Iron Ball and had Speed Boost, so I switched into Pyroar, thinking that I’d be fine. Unfortunately, the Yanma hit me with Acrobatics, which does 110 damage if the user isn’t holding an item, before the speed boost. I then got one hit that sadly didn’t kill him before Yanma hit me with another Acrobatics, gained a speed boost, and killed my Pyroar the next turn. I realise he’s gone, and I switch into Pidgey (who has Quick Attack) to finish the job. It’s too late, though. Mikey has taken Liam from me. The bloodbath has begun.

I fill in a few more gaps so I can feel something. I get an Abra named Lucas (after one of the founders of this very site) for use later in the game. I catch a Paras named Piper, just to try and fill the hole left by Liam. I found a Surskit named Samantha, a Croagunk named Chris. But none of them can distract from the spectre of death hanging over me. 

I return to Route 104, ready to enter Petalburg Woods on my way to the first gym. It’s just Lady Cindy left before I get to the entrance, and she should be fairly easy.

Sadly, I didn’t factor in RNG. I killed her Minccino and Jigglypuff with Phil the Pidgey, leaving only her Phanpy. I took a gamble here – at level ten, I didn’t think that her Phanpy would actually have a rock-type move, meaning Pidgeot would be fine.

I was semi-correct. It didn’t have a rock-type move. 

But it did have Cute Charm. 

As I hit the Phanpy with a move, it charmed my Pidgey. And then it just kept using Stomp on him until Phil was flattened. Now, two deaths weighed on my conscience. I switch to Piper just to finish off this evil elephant, and I run back to the Pokémon Centre to give Phil the burial that he so deserved, and replace him with Fred the Fletchling, who had been waiting in my box. While I was doing that, I also did a little exploring, grabbing a quick Ponyta that I named Peter, before returning to the entrance of Petalburg Woods and stepping in. 

Except it’s here that the hack throws its first curveball at you – you don’t get to go into the woods yet. Instead, you’re accosted by a Team Aqua Grunt leaving the woods and forced into a battle. 

The Grunt leads with a Carvanha, and I lead with my Turtwig, taking it out fairly easily. He then switches into a Croagunk, and I panic. Brian can’t take this, so I go into Fred the Fletchling without thinking. Fred gets a hit in, doing some damage, but Croagunk surprises me with a Rock Smash, killing Fred immediately. He flutters to the floor, gone, and I switch into Jon the Chinchou to put the finishing touches on Croagunk. But the Grunt’s final Pokémon is an Exeggcute with an Oran Berry and Harvest, so it can easily heal each turn. The flow of things is as such – an Oran Berry restores 10 HP when you hit a certain threshold, and Harvest has a 50% chance of restoring any Berry that has been eaten during that battle, so it’s a very reliable healing method. I get cocky, thinking I can easily take out an Exeggcute. But I do enough damage to the Exeggcute to trigger his Oran Berry, which in turn triggers his Harvest, and Jon is hit with a Stun Spore followed by a Bullet Seed, killing him. I bottle up the emotions for later and switch into Ponyta to kill him, which is what I should have done the first time.

After the fight, the corpses of Fred and John littered around me, the Team Aqua Grunt runs away, and I’m asked by somebody from Slateport to deliver a letter to Steven in Dewford Town. This means getting a boat, so I head over to the boatmaster.

Pokémon Run and Bun changes the order of the gym leaders to refresh the game. The first Gym Leader isn’t Roxanne in Rustboro City; it’s Brawly in Dewford Town. You’re not against Rock, you’re against Fighting, so you need to adjust accordingly. 

I hop on the boat and head across to Dewford. I catch a Makuhita that I name Michael, and a Mienfoo that I name Mikey, and I head into the cave where Steven is, battling two trainers on the way. The first trainer goes fine. But Ruin Maniac Georgie causes me some issues. 

Georgie leads with a Dwebble. My Croagunk deals with it, and Georgie sends out a Sandygast. I figure I’ll be fine here. But Sandygast hits me with several Astonish’s in a row, all of which cause me to flinch, and Chris the Croagunk is gone just like that. I switch into Michael the Makuhita, furious at Georgie for what he’s just done, taking down the Sandygast through sheer grit and hatred. Next up is a Mawile. It has Intimidate, so my attack is cut, but I’m fairly sure I can manage this. Then Mawile hits Michael with a Fire Fang that causes him to flinch, before hitting me with a Covet, stealing my held berry, and dealing 60 damage to me after I manage to deal a decent amount of damage.  Michael the Makuhita goes limp, and I shed a single tear. But this is no time to mourn. I go into Samantha the Surskit, taking out the Mawile but taking some damage in the process. I figure I’ll be fine, I’m just against a Munchlax. But there’s a twist here.

This Munchlax has a Salac Berry and Gluttony. I hit it once, dealing a fairly average amount of damage. The Munchlax then Belly Drums, maximising its attack and causing the Salac Berry to trigger, so now it’s faster than me. It hits me with a Headbutt and now Samantha is gone. My face contorts in pain, but I lock in and switch into Brian, who has evolved into a Torterra in the time since I got him, and finish the job. I’m left with a battered and bruised team, but I am still standing. 

The cave gives me a couple of new Pokémon – Trudie the Togemaru and Will the Amaura. I fill in my team with Lucas, the Abra, who is now a Kadabra, and Piper the Paras. I deliver the letter to Steven, grabbing a Nevermelt Ice along the way that I give to Will. After I’ve delivered the letter, I leave the cave, heading to Slateport City – there’s somebody in the Museum I have to report to. But pulling up on the shore revealed a swathe of trainers that I had to fight my way through, and I lost two more soldiers. First, I lose Piper the Paras completely due to my own stupidity – I thought it was a different type than it was. Then I lose Trudie, who is crushed by a rock from a Geodude. These sting, but they’re acceptable losses. My team now comprises five: Peter the Ponyta, Brian the Torterra, Will the Amaura, Lucas the Kadabra, and Mikey the Mienfoo. All I could do was pray that I’d be able to fill some gaps before the first gym. I check my bag – and I have no Poké Balls. And there was no way for me to go back to get any. This was it. I looked at my team: they were a determined bunch. They knew what we were in for here, and they were accepting of whatever was to come. At least, that’s what I told myself.

The shore was a bloodbath. Sailor Edmond led with a Wingull that was handily defeated by a Rock Blast from Mikey the Mienfoo, but not before setting up a Rain Dance that allowed Buizel to kill him. Buizel was dealt with by Lucas, the Kadabra, but not before taking enough damage that Palpitoad could take him out. I was down to three. Brian the Torterra dealt with the Palpitoad, but it wasn’t looking good.

Next up was Fisherman Bill, a fairly easy fight composed entirely of bug-type Pokémon that Peter the Ponyta turned to ash. I started to get hopeful. Maybe I could make it to the City, grab some Poke Balls and refill my squad. Maybe it was possible.

My hope distracted me, and I walked straight into a double battle. 

Will the Amura was the first to die, kicked to death by a Nidorina. Peter the Ponyta followed, poisoned to death by a Nidorino. 

It was just Brian the Torterra left. We both knew what was coming. Brian was poisoned and fainted in front of me. That was it. There were no Pokémon in my box, and all of my existing Pokémon had fainted. It was over. I’d have to try again.

What’s brilliant about Pokémon Run & Bun is that this failure felt like my fault in a way that lesser hacks don’t manage. All of this was avoidable, had I stopped to think for a second, but I was too hasty, too cocky, and I lost Pokémon that I didn’t need to lose. It’s exactly what I want from a difficulty hack – I don’t want it to be too unfair, but I do want to feel like I’m responsible for what is happening. And even if I didn’t hit that first gym, I still felt like I was accomplishing massive feats just by beating standard trainers, since each one is designed to pose a challenge. 

I’ll be back. I will beat this first gym. I’ll do it with the spirits of Brian, Peter, Will, Lucas, Mikey, Trudie, Piper, Samantha, Chris, Michael, Jon, Fred, Phil and Liam all cheering me on.

Next Time: We find out whether a Pokėmon can be held by the law, and whether it’s possible to take a Rattata that shanked you to court.