He gets to live with it.

I really didn’t want to write something like this, but then I read “What Do We Do With Jacob Geller?”. It made me so angry I felt I had to write something. So here I am.

Let’s recap: noted YouTuber Jacob Geller sexually assaulted his then-girlfriend while at UNC, something the university suspended him for a semester for (which is a matter of public record thanks to the North Carolina Supreme Court) and something he has since admitted to. If the story, first brought to everyone’s attention by a random social media post not made by the victim, is true, Geller attempted to have sex with his girlfriend while she was unconscious. By definition, that’s rape, which makes Geller a rapist (provided, again, that account is true). Given that everything else the posts said is true, I personally believe it.

Jacob Geller, then, is guilty of sexual assault and allegedly a rapist.

I want to establish something from the outset: I have no attachment to Geller and his work. I don’t tell you this to brag or seem superior, but to establish that this will not be one of those essays in which I lament his “betrayal” of my trust or say “why can’t we have nice things” or “man, this one hurts.” If you are looking for that, you’re barking up the wrong tree. If you found value in his work, more power to you. I just want to lay out where I stand.

Here’s the funny thing, though. There are a lot of talented, successful YouTubers (and journalists) who haven’t sexuallly assaulted and likely raped someone. And we have every reason to believe Geller is a rapist.

Which is why when I first saw “What Do We Do With Jacob Geller?” my first thought was “I don’t know, have you considered a woodchipper? The guillotine? The deepest, darkest hole in the ocean? A short drop and a sudden stop? A long walk off a short pier? Gasoline and a match? Exile, forever?”

I will be very clear: I despise rapists, and I view rape as one of the two things you cannot and should not ever be allowed to come back from. Rape is not an accident; it requires intent. It is forcing yourself on, and violating the body of, another person. Nobody is accidentally a rapist. That Geller did what he allegedly did, as a 20 year old college student who had no excuse not to know better, tells me everything I need to know about who and what he is. 

Part of my hatred of rapists and sex pests comes from knowing that many people I love, men and women alike, have been raped or sexually assaulted. The other part of it involved being a college professor and seeing how common rape and sexual assault are on college campuses. I saw what it did to the people who were victims of it firsthand, and I saw brilliant young women (and it was always women) have their lives upended by men (and it was always fucking men) who rarely faced consequences for their actions. At worst, they got a slap on the wrist, just like Geller got. Maybe, if they’re really bad, they might have to write an essay. 

The men who did this to the young women I knew (and all the people we don’t know) potentially destroyed the life of another person, violated them in the most profound mental and physical way. And they got to keep living like none of it ever happened. To watch this happen in real time, and be unable to do anything but be there for and support the victims as best you can while the institutions meant to protect them repeatedly fail them, will drive you mad. It will acquaint you with a level of rage powerful enough to start a truck. And I am not a victim. Imagine how those women felt. How every victim of sexual violence feels. Really try to think about it, about living with it every day, about staying in school and the possibility of walking back on to campus and seeing the person who sexually assaulted you and got away with it because we “shouldn’t ruin the lives of promising young men.” Imagine living, every day, with that hurt and that rage, and the cost – mental, physical, social, and monetary – of attempting to recover from that. What should we do with Jacob Geller? Consider the woodchipper.

But the death penalty is morally abhorrent and sex pests almost never get it anyway and it seems unlikely Geller will be held legally accountable, so there have to be other ways. First, we have to establish who “we” is. One of the strongest things surrounding this whole revelation is people who watched Geller’s videos claiming they had been “betrayed” or wronged in some way. Let me be clear: you are not a victim of what Geller did. You watched a YouTube video (or several) and believed in a public persona of goodness crafted by a man who has none. This is not about you, and framing it that way is disturbing. You should consider why you need this to be about you. You may have your own personal response to Geller and his work, but there is no “we.” There is just each of us, and how we deal with it ourselves.

What’s more disturbing, however, is how many people are already trying to redeem him, to, as “What Do We Do With Jacob Geller?” suggests, offer him “restorative justice.” This is offensive on several fronts, so I’ll take them one at a time.

First, “restorative justice” is not about the perpetrator. It is about empowering the victim, who did not agree to have her trauma aired in public, and has had no say in any of this, and cannot be un-sexually assaulted. Perhaps we should focus on her before we rush to rehabilitate the man who assaulted her less than a week after it became public knowledge.

Secondly, let’s examine Geller’s actions post-sexual assault. He’s a different person now, so goes the claim. He’s put in the work to try to redeem himself. He’s a good man, right?

Are you sure?

Here is what Geller actually did: minimize, as much as he could, his involvement with UNC on his LinkedIn page. Hid, as best he could, why he missed a semester of college. 

“Ah, but Will,” you might argue, “it’s not his story to tell publicly.” Sure. But surely as someone who perpetrated a criminal sex act, you might inform the people you worked with privately so they could make an informed decision about whether or not they wanted to work with someone who was allegedly a rapist and could potentially be a danger to other people around him, right? Especially after going out of your way to act like a good man. Especially when you present yourself as a person who is safe for women to be around.

Did Geller inform the folks at Cane and Rinse of what he had done? No. How about the people at MinnMax? No. Lost in Cult? No. Nebula? No. None of those organizations, or the people within them, agreed to platform or work with a man who committed, by his own admission, an act of sexual violence that was, at one point, a matter of public record. Not one. Instead, Jacob Geller swept his past under the rug so he could become a famous and successful public figure. Ask yourself this, and answer honestly: would any of these organizations have worked with Geller had they known who he really was? Would you have watched his videos? Will you watch them knowing what you know now? Would you work with him? Be in the same room with him? Shake his hand? Tell the truth. 

Geller is not stupid. He wanted to be rich. He wanted to be famous. He wanted book deals and clout. He thought he deserved it, and he knew that no one who committed sexual assault would have the support necessary to achieve those things. And so he made sure nobody else knew. You’re right: these are the actions of a good man, a changed man, one who deserves “restorative justice.” We shouldn’t ruin the life of a promising young man.

Even his “apology” rings hollow. Does he admit to what he did? Sure. But we also have records from the university that he did it. There was no point in lying. Read it again. Does he apologize, publicly, to the victim who has once again had their life damaged by his actions? No. Does he apologize to the colleagues whose trust he betrayed and who image he has stained because of his association with them? No. Does he, at any point, apologize for committing sexual assault and then spending years covering it up so he could have a public-facing career that gave him fame and fortune? No. He is sorry that “this has hurt many of you.” It is the classic non-apology apology, the language of the abuser. Jacob Geller is not sorry he committed sexual assault. He is not sorry he kept it from his peers, co-workers, colleagues, or audience for a decade to further his career. He’s sorry you found out about it. He’s sorry he got caught twice.

A man who was sorry would have raised awareness. He would have set up a charity to help victims of sexual violence and donated his substantial resources to it. He would have used his wealth and success to platform women and survivors of sexual violence. He would have done the work. Instead, he chose to conceal the truth and enrich himself. You’re right; Jacob Geller is a good man, an honorable man. We should forgive him. We shouldn’t ruin the life of a promising young man.

For the first time in his life, Jacob Geller is facing the consequences of his actions. And no, the single-semester suspension doesn’t really count. Students who violate academic probation face harsher consequences and they haven’t committed a crime. Geller has been accused of having sex with his girlfriend while she was unconscious. In the state of North Carolina, that is classified as second-degree forcible rape, a felony punishable by twelve years to life in prison. Instead, Geller was suspended for a semester, and ten years later, after acquiring significant money and prestige, will no longer have his books sold, no longer be professionally associated with organizations who did not know they were working with a sex pest, and lose some of his massive following. As of the time of publication, Geller’s Bluesky account has lost a little more than 7,000 of its followers. It retains a little less than 60,000. My heart bleeds for him. His still hasn’t uploaded his statement admitting he committed sexual assault to his website or to his Patreon, which is, at the time of publication, making him over $6,000 a month. But you’re right. Jacob Geller is an honorable man. He’s changed. Done the work. We should forgive him. We shouldn’t ruin the life of a promising young man.

Forgiveness is between Geller and his victim, who has now likely been retraumatized without her consent. Not us. Absolution is between him and God. But we do not owe him deference, or a voice, or a place of influence in public life. We don’t owe him redemption. He has to earn that himself. What he does now is up to him. Nobody owes him their time, their association, or respect. No one is calling for his death. Maybe now he just has to be an accountant. Jacob Geller is a good man now, right? An honorable man. He’s changed. We shouldn’t ruin his life. Surely a good man can accept the consequences of his actions with grace and remove himself from the public sphere. And Jacob Geller is a good man. Right?

He will still be able to go to restaurants and the movies and play video games. He will still have all the money he made because nobody knew who – what – he was. He will get to live every day, having made the life of another person worse forever and never admitting it until he was forced to so he could get all the things he wanted. He tricked good people to do it. But it’s okay. He deserved it. He wanted it, and so he should have had it, regardless of what anybody else wanted, regardless of whether anyone else thought it was okay. Who were we, or anybody really, to tell him no, to not consent? After all, he’s a good man. Right?

What do we do with Jacob Geller? We don’t fucking kill him. No. He gets to live with it.